All along I knew there was something wrong about all of us who work in the West. Today, I was enlightened by a wonderful gentleman who works in Riyadh. While waiting for our respective Paan, I said, “Sir, I do admire the fact that you can come to Aligarh so often because you work in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia”. He replied, ” Yes indeed! Plus, the biggest benefits are that we work in Halal jobs. All you westerners work in Haram environments”.
Now I was a bit thrown. I didn’t expect this particular brand of crap. You know, we Muslims come up with all sorts of interesting stuff… but this was new to me.
Please don’t get me wrong. I don’t mind that my Paan friend considered my labors in the USA Haram. Not in the least. He is perfectly entitled to his ignorance and bigotry. Only, I hadn’t head this one before so I went looking.
Truly, Google par sab milta hai( you get everything on Google). I think I found what he was alluding to. Like everything else, it has to do with wine, women and ..well, not song, but interest and usury are bad enough man!
By now, either you are bored ut of your mind and are still willing to hear me out, or you are genuinely interested. Either way, this is where it gets juicy. Trust me!
Wine and other Tasteless Spirits
In the West, liquor and other spirits are the norm and the work place atmosphere is such that a believing brother cannot get by without imbibing a few completely Haram sips here and there. One has one’s children to think about and one’s job prospects get dimmer the lesser you drink with the boys and girls(God Forbid, of course). No data to prove this but it seems very obvious, doesn’t it?
Interest and Usury issues
We know that in the middle-east all Muslim countries do not give or take interest. They are completely cut off from the banking systems of the world. In fact, they all practice Islamic banking where taking and giving Ribaa(interest) and Usury(sood) is not practiced. This is known, of course. No proof needed really.
We also know that the West is steeped in interest and usury. Their problems become ours because our wives and sisters( not ourselves, mind you) start desiring these western houses and all the accoutrements thereof. Now, how is a brother in a halal job going to pay for a posh mercedes? He will have to take a loan from these evil western banks( it is known that all Muslim banks are ipso facto not evil, sort of like Google). So living in such a society destroys one’s faith in God. One particular scholar on a forum noted that one should not work in these societies and live on government assistance. Very wise, indeed!
Women at Work( Oh Lord!)
You see, this whole business of women working in the same office as men is terribly controversial and a bit too suspiciously interesting to all brand of Fatwa-wallahs.
First of all, we ALL know that the first chance women get, they will flirt!( No data is necessary to back this up of course. We brothers know this! We have to fend them off after all, in droves, mind you.) Western women apparently flirt all the time. It is quite a wonder that any work gets done at all!
Secondly, there will be skimpy-clothing-to-work days, pretty much all the year round. Skimpy, here signifies anything not in the traditional KSA Abayah. Is there any research to back this up? Of course not! God knows this already and hence the whole ritual mummification of women thing…You could argue that men should be able to observe a bit more decency and ogle less but this is a weak argument. We all KNOW that the clothes will get skimpier if we do not ogle. We Muslim men are doing a public service here and no one gives us any credit for it. Such is the world!
Thirdly and finally, there will of course be touches, very accidental mind you, but such touching sets everyone’s beard aflame. One cannot be sure whether it is excitement or censure, but we get very touchy about this business. Forum upon Forum, blog upon blog, are enveloped in the Halal and Haram of touching. Everyone knows that a pure Muslim Brother will be lured into touching by a woman. All that happens after that is not in the purview of discussion as it is purely said woman’s fault. Besides, this is a decent blog so I am not going beyond this.
So, in conclusion, this chance comment by a very wise fellow Paan eater has indeed induced me to desist from working in the West. Henceforth, until the West shows some initiative and improves itself, I shall work in India.
Got jobs anyone?